Kill Leverrier Volume 2
by xCleverFox
Summary: The sadistic muses decided to make a reappearance so I decided to once again do a series of drabbles with the sole purpose of what else, killing Leverrier. Hopefully in new and creative ways.
1. Left in to Dry

Disclaimer: I do not own -Man, the usual spiel

Left in to Dry

There were several issues that arose when having a large group of people assembled together in any type of communal dwelling. One of which was food but with Jerry that problem was taken care of, even with Allen's voracious appetite. The man never seemed to grow weary of cooking and so even with all of the people, and one parasite type Exorcist that could out eat all of the others combined they were still good in that department.

Another issue was laundry and that was the one that Chief Komui was currently attempting to deal with. He was, quite tearfully, using the remains of one of his Komurins in order to make an industrial size machine that they could use to dry freshly washed clothes. He was hoping that he would be able to come up with a complimenting machine that would wash them but for the moment the dryer was the easier of the two tasks. The machine, housed in what had once been the chest compartment of his beloved robot, was huge and it was positioned in the middle of the science division.

"Chief are you sure this is a good idea?" Section Leader Reever questioned as he looked over at his teary eyed superior, slightly concerned about this if he were being honest.

"I won't let my precious Komurin die in vain…his death must mean something," Komui said, actually getting choked up as he said this and he was visibly fighting back tears as he continued to tinker with the robot turned dryer.

Unfortunately Komui, and the rest of the Science Division along with him, were distracted when they heard the tell-tale screaming of a certain redhead that was apparently antagonizing a certain samurai again. That noise caused them to all rush out in an effort to save Lavi from his own inability to not cause trouble, leaving the newest invention unattended. The door of the contraption had been left open and who should happen upon the Science Division than the one man that everyone loved to hate, Malcolm C. Leverrier.

Leverrier was carrying papers in his hand and was on a mission to talk to Komui so he was beyond annoyed to find that the man wasn't even there. "Komui?" he barked out in an irritated tone, his gaze shifting around as he looked for the Division Chief. Going over to the new contraption he stuck his head inside, noticing the tools that had been left there when Komui made his hasty exit. That served to pique the man's curiosity and he actually wandered inside the thing, not even thinking for a moment that this could be a bad idea.

A decision that will hence forth be known as mistake number one.

The members of the Science Division were thankfully not needed in order to prevent murder so after making sure that Lavi had managed to escape they all made their way back so that they could resume the never ending stream of work that they had.

At least that was the plan until Komui called for their attention.

"Can I have your attention?" the chief called out once they were back in the room. "It's not time to try out my newest invention, the KomurinDryer2000!" And as he said that he brandished a plug with a flourish, plugging it in and watching as the door of the dryer closed.

Unbeknownst to him sealing Leverrier inside.

Leverrier whirled around as he noticed that it was getting darker in the enclosed space that he had been surveying, the man hurrying over to the door. Before he could make it however there was a noise and it started to spin, the man's body causing a thumping noise as it was bounced around inside the huge machine.

"What's that noise Chief?" Reever asked as they heard the strange noise. 'Is it supposed to sound like that?"

"I don't know," Komui said, the man messing around with the controls and increasing the speed as well as the heat. When that served to increase the noise as well Komui decided that it was probably a good idea to abort this test and see what was going on. Hitting the off button the man then opened the door, his gaze shifting inside as the door opened and once the smoke had cleared he and the rest of the science division were in for quite a shock.

There lay the charred and broken remains of Malcolm C. Leverrier.

"How did that even happen?" Komui asked as he surveyed the corpse.

"No idea Chief," Reever said as he walked over to stand beside Komui. "But at least now you can say that Komurin didn't die in vain."

A/N: I needed something to toy around with that would be stress free and fun so after re-reading the first version of this I decided to revisit the idea. Because apparently my sadistic muses are dominant more often than not. If anyone has any suggestions for ways you'd like to see him bite it feel free to share them with me XD


	2. Handle with Care

Disclaimer: I do not own DGM nor any of its characters

Ch 2. Handle with Care

"Chief, this box is heavy!" Section Leader Reever complained as he and the other members of the Science Division worked to heave the thing toward a loading dock in headquarters so that it could be taken to town to be mailed. None of them knew exactly what was in the box but it was difficult to move and that was the part that they felt the need to complain about.

Mainly because Komui was currently walking along beside them with that obnoxious pink bunny coffee cup, not even bothering to help.

"You're almost there Section Leader!" Komui said in a sing songy voice that was meant to be encouraging but probably only served to get on everyone's nerves.

Which he was quite good at.

The scientists all grumbled their complains directed toward Komui but none of them actually voiced them out loud. Not because they were afraid of angering him but rather because they didn't want to listen to him whining about them being mean to him later or something else along those lines.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, they managed to make it to the loading dock.

"Thanks so much for the help, I couldn't have done with without you!" Komui said in the same excited tone of voice, a bright smile on his face. "You can all go back to your work now."

"What?" Reever said, gazing at the chief with a confused look.

"Go on, be off with you!" Komui said, waving a hand in dismissal. "I'm just going to slap a couple of labels on this and then leave it to be picked up and delivered."

"Fine…" the scientists all grumbled before turning and walking away. They were admittedly a little annoyed to have done all the work only to be brushed off like that but they were sort of used to it hwen it came to Komui and so they just accepted it.

"Now…" Komui said, getting a bit of a glint in his eyes as he turned his gaze back to the box. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out a few stickers that he proceeded to place on the crate. _Please fold spindle and mutilate…_ The words do not were meant to be there however they had been accidentally left off and Komui also happened to accidently put the _This End Up_ sticker on upside down. "There, that out to take care of things…" Komui mumbled to himself before turning and making his way back toward the Science Division.

The package was picked up right on schedule and several days later arrived at its destination in Central, the person who checked in the package noticing the rather odd stickers that adorned it. "What the…" the man said, getting a crow bar to open the wooden crate, wondering what was going on even as he did so.

The man was completely shocked when the mangled body of Malcolm C. Leverrier fell out.

"How the hell…" the man muttered before shaking his head slightly. Grunting and muttering any number of profanities under his breath the man shoved the corpse back into the box and once again nailed the lid closed. Once that task had been taken care of he made a sign of his own to stick to the side of the package.

 _Return to Sender_

 _A/N: Hehe, no one wants him XD No idea where this came from, I have no excuse._


	3. Pedestrian Speed Bump

Disclaimer: I do not own DGM nor any of the characters held within, just borrowing them for my own amusement and hopefully for yours as well

Pedestrian Speed Bump

"ALLEN THE BREAK! HIT THE BREAK!"

The voice of Lavi could probably have been heard outside of the car in which the two teenaged Exorcists were currently traveling, the usually laid back redhead displaying an uncharacteristic level of anxiety. The cause of said anxiety was the white haired teen that was sitting in the driver's seat of the car, and attempting to learn how to drive it. That had been Lavi's idea initially but he was starting to think that it had been a bad one.

Based on how the lessons were currently going.

"I am hitting the break!" Allen shot back at the redhead, glancing over in Lavi's direction briefly before thankfully focusing his gray eyes back on the road.

Or at least what was sufficing for a road for the purposes of this lesson.

In actuality it was just a path through the woods that were near headquarters but the redhead had felt that it was as good a place as any to teach his companion the ropes so to speak. The downside of the location being all of the trees that were around to serve as obstacles, and that the usually observant Jr. Bookman hadn't even given a second thought.

"THAT'S NOT THE BREAK! THAT'S THE ACCELERATOR!" was the response that Allen gained for his troubles, Lavi's single visible green eye wide as he watched the trees that were whizzing by them and a couple that were dangerously close to their location.

And the distance was dwindling rapidly.

* * *

Meanwhile one of Allen's babysitters had noticed that he had managed to sneak away from headquarters when Link's back was turned and Leverrier was not the least bit happy about it. Even when someone helpfully said that Allen was with Lavi and that the two of them were just practicing their driving skills the man's anger did not abate.

In fact if anything it grew more intense.

"That boy is going to pay…" the livid man snarled as he made his way out of headquarters and toward the spot where he had been told that he could find Allen.

* * *

"Man I knew I was probably gonna die young but this wasn't how I pictured myself going!" Lavi bemoaned his misfortune as he watched their impending doom speeding toward them in the form of a large tree.

As if right on cue a seething Leverrier emerged from the shrubbery and stepped right in the path of the oncoming car. There was a thud and a jar and then Allen miraculously finally figured out which of the pedals was the brake pedal.

Stopping the car right on top of Leverrier.

"Oh man…that was close…" Lavi said before realizing what had just happened and then he grimaced. "Guess we should probably move the car…"

Allen looked over at his friend and blew out a breath before saying, "I'm really not sure I'm up to that right now…"

To which Lavi just shrugged his shoulders and once again went back to thanking the powers that be that he had managed to get out of this mess with his life intact. He should probably feel bad for the guy that wasn't so lucky but given the circumstances he just couldn't bring himself to do it.

And he didn't think anyone else would really care either.

A/N: Aaaand there's another one. At least it was an accident this time lol. Hope you enjoyed another short little drabble, please leave a review and share your thoughts…and any creative causes of death you may have in mind. Can't promise I'll use them but y'never know, I may be inspired. Also for any Bleach fans reading this I have a poll on my profile concerning a fic I have in the planning stages if you'd be so kind as to vote that would be awesome. Thanks for your time.


	4. Nature Bites

Disclaimer: I do not own DGM nor any of the characters, you know the drill

Nature Bites

"How unlucky can one person possibly even be?" Lavi complained to Allen as the two of them set about gathering fire wood, his single green eye focused on the other teen who was working beside him. Of course he knew that the white haired boy had some of the worst luck of anyone he'd ever met but he'd thought, mistakenly apparently, that there had to be a limit to it.

Apparently not.

"Yea it amazes me too," Allen said quietly as he picked up a few more branches to add to the stack that he was balancing in his arms.

The day hadn't started off too badly but then Komui had informed them of a mission and since Link was currently doing something else, God only knew what, that only left one other potential babysitter for the teen that was still under suspicion of being a threat. That man was none other than Inspector Malcolm C. Leverrier, a man that was loathed throughout the Black Order.

Especially by the two teens that were currently stuck in his company.

"Okay so we all know that YOUR luck is awful but why am I stuck in this mess with you?" Lavi whined, the redhead still picking up larger pieces of wood so that they could actually keep warm that night.

"Because you drew the short straw," Allen said with a shake of his head and a roll of his eyes. And he meant that in the most literal sense of the phrase, the other candidates for this assignment had actually drawn straws to see who got stuck with Allen and more to the point his unwanted babysitter.

Lavi had been the 'lucky' winner of that.

"Ugh, I think Kanda cheated," Lavi said with a shake of his head.

"Anyway," Allen said, hoping to forestall any further pointless complaining by interrupting. "We should probably head back before he starts getting suspicious and comes looking for us or something."

"Right," Lavi said, the redhead heaving one final sigh before heading back toward the campsite with Allen, his arms laden with the wood that he had gathered. Upon arriving back at camp the pair of Exorcists piled the wood up beside the spot where they were going to build their fire that night. After completing that task the pair of teens looked around, noticing that Leverrier wasn't actually leering over them the second they walked back, the way that they had been expecting.

But that was only because his attention was currently focused on something else.

A red fox was sniffing around the perimeter of the camp site, the animal not seeming to be afraid of the humans. Which was an immediate red flag to Lavi and was clearly not something that Leverrier was even giving any thought to right now. The mustached pain in the neck was attempting to shoo the fox away, with absolutely no results. Which prompted him to get closer and closer rather than to stop and evaluate the situation the way that a smart person most likely would have done.

"Um, I wouldn't do that if I were you," Lavi said with a shake of his head. "Foxes don't typically show this much disregard for humans…"

Even as he offered up that warning Leverrier made the wrong move, attempting to kick the fox, and rather than running off into the forest the animal actually whirled around and bite him. That elicited a scream of pain from the man and a simultaneous groans from Lavi and Allen both.

"I think we need to go back to headquarters," Lavi said after a moment. "We aren't that far away and it probably has the closest medical facilities." He said this in a matter of fact tone of voice while at the same time tossing the man a roll of bandages so he could stem the bleeding.

* * *

The trip back to headquarters took the better part of the night and when they arrived Komui decided that it was probably a good idea to quarantine the man once he had been treated for the bite. It turned out to be a very good thing that the Chief made that call because Leverrier began to show signs of having contracted rabies, the man foaming at the mouth and thrashing around on the bed where he was laying.

"I did try to warn him," Lavi said as he glanced through the glass on the door at the frothing Inspector.

He did not say just how hard that he had tried, simply that he had put forth some effort.

* * *

There was unfortunately nothing that could be done for Leverrier aside from attempting to make him comfortable and he ended up succumbing to the disease that he had contracted through his own stupidity. There was a slight attempt to act as though they were in mourning from a few members of the European Branch of the Black Order but most couldn't be bothered to even feign it.

And a few had to be talked out of having a party the day that they found out about his untimely demise.

A/N: Okay this one was fueled by a meme

Hey, I just met you  
And this is crazy.  
But I just bit you,  
And I have rabies

A/N2: Also still have a poll up on my profile that I would love some input on, thanks for your time.


	5. Free Fall

Disclaimer: I do not own DGM nor any of the characters

Free Fall

It was midnight at the European Branch of the Black Order and most of the inhabitants had called it a night at this point but Inspector Leverrier was currently making his way through the halls, skulking like an intruder or something. He had been returning to his own room but then he caught sight of a small figure that was making their way through the corridors and headed in the direction of the roof. Unable to leave well enough alone the man moved to follow, this particular youth one of the people that he was keeping under his radar.

No Allen Walker wasn't the only one that Central was worried about though he had been deemed the most immediate threat.

This other kid was a rebel and was known to harbor ill will toward the Order, the fact that he had managed to keep himself out of serious trouble was something that Leverrier really couldn't understand. Of course he was certain that were it not for the fact that the kid was an accommodator of Innocence the kid would have already been arrested or something.

The fact that he was an accommodator was the only thing saving him.

But it wasn't enough to save him from the Inspector's scrutiny, the man grumbling to himself as he followed along behind the boy. He was making it a point to lurk in the shadows so that he wouldn't be seen, his eyes narrowed as he followed the boy.

The boy in question, Skye, didn't even realize he was being followed or if he did then he didn't show that as he made his way down the hall and then out onto the roof. The night was crisp and clear, stars dotting the sky overhead which was devoid of even a trace of clouds. The boy's gaze shifted around as he walked toward the edge, the pre-teen studying the horizon intently.

"What do you think you're doing?" Leverrier called out in a gruff and demanding tone of voice as he finally revealed the fact that he was following the kid.

"I needed some air," Skye said in a nonchalant voice, the boy not even turning around to look at the clearly irritated man that was approaching him from behind. He was less nonchalant than his voice portrayed however and he was actually on edge, hating to have anyone behind him but he was none the less resisting the urge to whirl around and face the man.

Because he had a better idea.

"You should not be out here alone, go back inside immediately," Leverrier snapped at the kid, clearly angry that the boy had dared to venture outside on his own. Owing to the fact that this particular Exorcist was a flight risk he was not permitted anywhere on his own right now and most certainly not on the roof.

Where escape for him would be painfully easy.

"I'll go back inside when I'm ready," Skye said in response to that order, the kid still fighting the urge to turn around as he heard the sound of the man's footsteps approaching him.

"You will follow the orders that you are given boy," Leverrier said, reaching out to grasp the kid by the arm.

It was in that moment that Skye acted.

"Innocence activate!" the kid exclaimed, a bright flash heralding the arrival of his pure white wings. Flaring the feathered appendages Skye grasped the hand that was holding his arm and then gave a mighty flap, propelling himself and the Inspector up into the air. "Enjoy the view, it's really nice from up here," the kid said in a conversational tone even as he maneuvered them so that they were over the cliff's edge and many, many feet from the ground below.

"What are you doing?! Have you lost your mind?!" the Inspector said, frantically trying to free himself and not seeming to realize the peril that presented.

"It's been said, more than once," Skye said calmly in response to that.

The boy didn't seem the least bit concerned with the way that the man was struggling and it wasn't as though he would have been able to hold the man for very long anyway. His Innocence served to enhance his strength a bit but he was still a great deal smaller than the Inspector and the grip that he had on the man slipped.

With a scream the Inspector fell.

"Oh…darn…" Skye said as he watched this, not the slightest trace of remorse in his blue eyes as he moved to land on the roof once more. "Should have minded his own business," the boy said with a shake of his head, thinking that this settled the score that he'd had with the man. And probably made life easier for a few other people in the process.

Feeling better than he had in a long time despite what he had just done the boy turned to make his way back inside headquarters, not planning on letting anyone know of the part that he'd played in the Inspector's demise.

A/N: And there we have another chapter and this one involved an OC of mine, Skye. To the handful of people that are familiar with this character this will make more sense but I hope that everyone enjoyed it none the less.


	6. Death by Pinecone

Disclaimer: I do not own DGM nor any of the characters

Death…by Pinecone

Strolling through the woods was not Malcolm C. Leverrier's idea of fun, he was not in the mood for a nature hike. But he had been left behind by the group that he was traveling with a town over from the location of headquarters, he had no idea how they could have forgotten to wake him and he was livid. The scowl that decorated his face made it clear that there was going to be hell to pay once he made it back to headquarters, the man's hands clenched into fists as he stalked through the forest.

How he could have thought it was an accident was anyone's guess but he was under that delusion.

"Someone is going to pay for this," the man growled as he continued to walk.

He was starting to get tired however and was debating sitting down under one of the trees and taking a bit of a break before continuing on his way. On the one hand he was in a hurry to make it back but on the other he was out of shape and not used to exercising anything save for his mouth so he was starting to run out of steam.

In the end that was what won out, the man making his way over to a huge tree and plopping his butt down on the ground. Which only served to prompt more complaints from the man and more grumbled promises that someone was going to regret this egregious oversight.

He, Malcolm C. Leverrier, was much too important to be sitting on the ground out in the woods.

Or so he thought anyway.

Unbeknownst to him the spot that he had chosen to plant his butt was going to end up sealing his fate. Overhead, nestled amongst the branches and leaves of the ancient tree, was a similarly ancient pinecone. And while a pinecone may be unassuming to most this particular pinecone weighed in at an amazing twenty-two pounds.

Which would not have been a problem had it stayed where it was, up in the tree.

Alas twas not meant to be however.

What exactly dislodged the pinecone is a mystery that is unlikely to ever be solved, mostly because no one is likely to care one way or the other about it. All that needs to be known is that something, be it wind or a supernatural force above the comprehension of normal men, knocked the pinecone from its resting place and sent it plunging toward the earth.

Again Leverrier would have been okay had he decided that a short rest was enough and moved.

But that was not to be either.

As the pinecone fell it reached speeds that would make its weight comparative to that of a bowling ball by the time that it finally touched down. Not on the ground as it would have had Leverrier not be in the way but right on top of his head, the sound of impact almost seeming to echo in the otherwise silence of the woods.

Not even knowing what hit him Leverrier slumped over.

Dead.

From a pinecone to the cranium.

A/N: Another one, this took awhile to do because I was having some issues coming up with a new way to do him in. You'd think I'd be better at this but apparently the sadistic muses decided to take a holiday and leave me hanging. Anyway, please leave a review and tell me what you thought, give a suggestion, just celebrate the sadism XD


End file.
